One of our classmates was matched with a birthmom last week. The baby is due August 2nd, and if all goes according to plan, her dream of becoming a mother will come true in a matter of a couple of weeks...literally. We are SUPER excited for her. It is really special to be on the journey with other families and see how their adoption stories play out as well.
I had a mild moment of panic when I thought, "What if everyone else is always a 'better' selection and we are never actually chosen as parents for a baby?!" It's hard to explain how I can feel that while simultaneously feeling so humbled that anybody would be willing to let us parent their baby. It's such a huge honor. Anyway, I did feel that way for about half of a day until I realized that we are not dealing with the schemes of man. The future of our family is in the hands of the Lord, and that gives me the confidence to know that He who began this great work (adoption) in us will be faithful to bring it to completion (with a baby). After my half day of doubting-Peter hopelessness I recalibrated to the Lord's plan and feel completely satisfied with waiting whatever length of time He asks us to on our baby's arrival. "Be patient...trust in the Lord and He will act..." Psalm 37...I keep coming back to this over and over again.
I actually gained a little perspective on some advantages to a longer wait process, such as completing some career goals, maintaining our area staffing while two other nurses are out on maternity leave, building up more paid time off, taking a vacation to celebrate the fabulous 5 years I have been married to my husband, and maybe even having leave during the big holiday season (it sure would be nice to be home for Christmas this year). I am also incredibly lucky to be able to pour my motherly affections into my beautiful son, a gift that the other waiting parents we know do not currently have. I may accomplish all of these things and more, or perhaps only a couple, but I am just learning to be grateful that the Lord knows exactly what will or will not happen between now and the addition of our fourth family member, and we have to live each day to its fullest potential between now and then.
All of the baby talk has Josiah asking, "You gonna have a baby for me soon?" "My baby sister is coming home soon?" "I want a baby, Mama." It is cute and endearing, and he has informed me that Baby Wells, "Aunt" Callie's baby is coming out first. She is due mid-September, by the way. SO...if Josiah is right then we will have a baby girl sometime after mid-September. hahahaha. We'll see how honed his prophetic skills are at the ripe age of 2. He has also informed me while I am pumping, "This one (points to left side) is for the baby and this side (points to right side) is for Josiah." What a ham! That child will probably beg and plead for na-nas until the day he goes to kindergarten!
Josiah is as amazing as ever. The other day he called me back into the room as he was laying down for a nap and said, "Mama, I want to give you a kiss!" Then, he told me, "I want to give you a kiss on your cheek, too" as he turned my head so he could do so. It was precious. He is so fully of energy and risk-taking, but he still loves to cuddle up with his mommy. A different night we finished praying before bed and he said, "Mama, rock me just one minute." I couldn't possibly say no. The days are fleeting that my sweet boy will want to cuddle up and rock in my arms for a minute before bed. He is very into playing baseball right now. I bought him a t-ball set on sale the other day, but I must admit that he actually hits the ball just as well when we pitch it to him. I think that is exceptional, but I don't really know what to expect, honestly. He loves to hit and then run a home run trot around the yard, completely unaware of what direction or path he should follow. That isn't the only concept he hasn't gotten yet. He still hasn't figured out why we can't play baseball inside, too. Imagine that.
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