There are times in your life when you realize you are becoming more and more like your mother. (Glad I have a good one of those). It happens when my son just looks at me and self corrects because he knows I mean business (thanks for the skill, Mom). It happens when you buy the smallest bra you've ever owned and you remember your mom promising she had a chest before your birth (I finally believe you, and no thanks for the gene pool on this one). It also happens when you realize your only hobby outside of childrearing is her favorite, too. This for us is gardening.
I grew up with my mother gardening. She spent hours in our yard. I grew a casual knowledge of the identity of many plants just by exposure. I didn't help a lot. I lost interest quickly and ended up sitting in the grass instead. I remember her going out in the late afternoons to pull a few weeds in between other tasks. I remember listening to Walter Reeves (the local garden specialist) on the radio on Saturday mornings. I remember her hands and her feet being filthy from the dark soil and her back soaked with sweat from the work. In the last couple of weeks I have discovered...I am that woman. If I hadn't figured it out already, I suppose when I started to make a birthday wish list for my husband and it included hand shears, money to indulge at the local Grower's Outlet, and a fancy soaker hose it pretty much sealed the deal.
I knew I liked to tinker in the garden (hard not to when you've had a beautiful yard your whole life). I also knew our last house was a temporary ground and I didn't want to invest extensive time or money that wouldn't move when I did. Last year we moved to a home we feel we could be in indefinitely...in May when it had gotten hot enough to deter me from adding anything to the soil. I knew it wouldn't have time to root before the scorching summer sun ate it for an afternoon snack. I had plenty of tasks to do inside, anyway. When fall came around I ventured outside to begin the basics of my landscape. I focused primarily on the front yard. I added some shrubs and determined what my bed lines were going to be. I even added a 12' stacked stone retaining wall on the side of the porch.
Spring came early this year, and the benefits of mosquito-free goodness inspired me. I decided to venture into the backyard and my first vegetable garden. The previous owners had boxed off a nice garden area that was filled with overgrown winter vegetables and weeds, so two weekends ago I set aside the weekend as "garden weekend." I packed the kids up and took them to the garden store where we perused the aisles for perennials for the flower beds and foods for the vegetable garden. One thing I have learned is that with small children time is precious and it is worth sticking with plants that will actually return. We bought some blueberry bushes and a few packs of vegetables (going against every Southern rule for when to install your vegetable garden). I spent all day Saturday prepping the ground. It was on this day I began my discovery of my love for gardening.
Our vegetable garden is about 8' deep and currently about 20' wide. Translation: a whole lot weeds. I looked at the mass and felt overwhelmed. About 10 minutes in I was grumbling to myself about how I was hot and the work was tedious and my back was already hurting from hunching over. Did I mention I had only pulled a fraction of the weeds? Somehow I got over the hump and got into a rhythm. 30 minutes. 1 hour. Now I was making some progress, but as I looked around I questioned if anything was really changing at all. At some point I thought, "perhaps I should have taken a before picture."
My before is not as dramatic as I would have hoped due to the large pile of weeds I had already pulled. (it was 3.5 wheelbarrows full by the end). At some point I got to where the weeds were finally out of the way and I had the great privilege of raking away all of the leaves and debris covering the soil. Then, I got out the hand tiller and began churning up the soil to soften it for the new plants. During the whole process I kept thinking about how ungratifying it was. I also kept thinking about one of my friends' blogs about the spiritual lessons she was learning from growing grass. This led me to thinking about all of the metaphors Jesus used regarding the heart and a garden. As I worked I meditated on the truths I was learning about weeds that paralleled my spiritual life.
1) Preparing the soil is the most awful, ungratifying work. To make matters worse, half way through you look around and wonder, "has anything really changed at all?" It's so hard to remember how bad and overgrown everything was. The same is true with preparing one's heart for what God wants to do with it. You have to pull the nasty stuff out to make room for the good stuff God wants to grow there. However, the purification can be painful, long, and really, really boring without seeing the fruit to come.
2) You have to get the root of the weed. If you break off the top, you are wasting your time. It will grow back. The same is true in my spiritual life. If I attack things from a behavior modification standpoint it will only last temporarily. The weeds will grow back. I have to go after the root instead.
3) Weeds are much easier to pull when they are small. Their root systems are shallow and frail. The same is true spiritually. If you get at something before it can dig deep in your heart, it's much easier to uproot. It's important to catch those things when they first sneak in.
Then, I was ready. I thought I was going to jump up and down when I finally got the soil prepped enough to start putting things back in it. I installed all of our purchases and looked at my work. It was a really long day...and it WAS gratifying.
In the days that followed I found myself back outside making plans for more plants. I surveyed what remained and made a mental list of what my priorities were. We went out of town for a few days and when we came home I was shocked to see how many weeds had grown in only a matter of days.
Lesson #4: Weeds grow fast. Be watchful.
Because of that, I have found myself outside once a day pulling weeds in both the vegetable and flower gardens. I think about the weeds Jesus references in Luke 8...the cares and riches and pleasures of life. I think about what things I need to uproot in my heart so that my fruit can mature. I think about how He says it takes patience for even the seed in good soil to bear fruit. I feel protective of my work. I like ensuring my plants have the freedom to flourish, and I don't mind pulling the weeds at all. It's in those moments I think it the most. "I am my mother."
The kids run and scoot around the grass with their kingdom of plastic Fisher Price delights. Evangeline soils her dress in the dirt while Josiah plays with worms then soaks himself with the hose. I pull weeds, plant new things, and cast vision for what could be. I want to add a reclaimed brick patio and new flower beds. I sit and ponder the best fit. I draw and redraw the lines. I scan the yard for any new growing surprises from the previous owners. There is something incredibly captivating about transforming the ground into something more beautiful, and I finally get why the Lord and my mother find it to be such a rewarding hobby.
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