I love you, I promise.

Ladies and Gents...sorry for the confusion.  I had played with some settings on my blog earlier today and within a few hours I had my own father thinking I was ex-communicating him and many others wondering why they weren't able to view...so I hope you didn't think I don't love you.  I do, really.  And...I appreciate that you take time out of your day to read about our lives.  So, if you know a friend that thinks I have disowned them and their readership, please reassure them this is not the case and tell them to try again.

The loss of voice I experienced last week lasted 3 days.  I transitioned from whisper into squeaky pubescent boy into normal again, with one unfortunate expense.  It came with a cough.  A cough that progressed to such far extremes that for 3 days I've been throwing up in my mouth.  Gross.  I know.  Now if you were devastated you weren't able to read my blog you realize you should have been counting your blessings.  See how quickly things can change?  Right, so I am functional, and I am speaking, and I am taking deep breaths at night and hoping to contain the extreme gag reflex this belly cough is igniting.  The worst part about it is I have now passed versions of this cold to the boys of the house.  Sorry guys!  I'm praying the little lady holds tight.  I'm approaching 2 weeks with this warping, awful thing.  Did I mention it started with a day where I laid on the floor and stared at my baby in her exersaucer because I literally was too weak to stand up?

Life has continued to happen with the exception of the last two days (since the boys fell victim).  My best friend threw a wonderful drop-in celebration (ie, casual baby shower) for us.  It doubled as the housewarming party I never got around to having, which meant I cleaned better than I have in the 5 months we have lived here.  Some of my friends asked me how I kept the house so clean with two little ones.  I am not one to play games.  I told the truth.  I put the kids to bed the night before, started to dig into the tasks that remained, and found myself vacuuming rugs at 12:30am.  Seriously.  Good thing they sleep heavy.  I told them that I had gone over to a friend's house on a day she hadn't prepared for company and I was so consoled by the fact that everything wasn't in place like the time I had visited before.  Can I tell you what a relief it was to realize she was a normal mom like me?!  I try really hard to keep our house clean, and in doing so I have found it is a full-time job.  I can literally spend all day, every day chasing trails of toys and bottles and the what-nots that come through the door and get set down when something more urgent beckons.  I chase the trails, but if you just drop by, the chances are good that there will be stuff sitting out and the floor needs to be swept...again (even though I just did it an hour ago and you would never believe me).

The celebration was great fun and our daughter is spoiled beyond belief by the people who love her (and us).  She has more clothes than me, which is good because I don't manage to get the laundry done on time, ever.  The blanket suggestion when people want to bring gifts of clothes has been "12 months or greater" since she seems to be pretty well-stocked in the present and that is the next step.  Well, coupled with all of the gifts and a couple of very generous sets of hand-me-downs it seems her 12 month wardrobe might be bigger than her current one.  I have it all stashed away in the wings for now, but last time I checked that storage tub didn't want to close anymore.  haha.  That reminds me of a story to tell...

A week after Evangeline arrived home the Lord spent some time working on my heart about my generosity with my belongings.  I have really tried to challenge myself to simplify my life, to fight the urge of consumerism.  One thing I hadn't budged on, though, was baby clothes.  I mean, we intend to have more kids so I told myself I was being a good steward of things by not buying them again.  What the Lord showed me was how I have hoarded heapings of blessings for 4 years in storage tubs and I have no idea what the future holds.  I really felt Him prompting my heart with, "It's been 4 years since you had a baby boy.  You don't intend to have another baby for a couple more years, and even then you don't even know if it will be a boy (or a newborn).  Are you really hiding those things in tubs for 6+ years when someone else could use them?"  Those weren't the Lord's exact words, but that was the gist.  I had been reading Galatians 6 and I hit the line that says, "So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith." Whoa.  I realized that when I went from nothing to a completely accessorized wardrobe for my 6-12 month old baby girl in a day at the consignment sale it cost me $70, which fortunately was an easy biannual price for us.  Was I really going to hold onto those baby clothes over $70, or was I going to believe the Lord to bless others with the sets of $70 I had yellowing in boxes in my closet?  I certainly had the opportunity that the Scripture was referring to.  It was challenging.  This wasn't the lesson I was expecting, but I wanted to join the Lord in tilling my heart, so I pulled out all of the neatly labeled boxes of baby and toddler clothes and started sorting.  I kept the most special items from each age, but I found myself filling 7.5 trash bags labeled with the names of friends with a boy of each age (and one for a friend expecting a little girl that is actually coming as a newborn:))  I didn't even remember most of the clothes.  Some of them he never even wore.  So shameful.  As I reached for more trash bags, I became so excited about blessing these other women in my life because I knew what a relief it was when someone had given me hand-me-downs.  I was in blessing thrown-down mode.  I was pumped.  I was relieved!  I was FREE.

It's funny how the Lord teaches lessons.  Two weeks later a lady came up to me after church.  We had spoken only one time before.  Do you know what she said to me?  Of course you do.  She said, "Hey, we are moving to Chicago and I don't want to take anything with me.  I have girl clothes all the way up to 2T.  Would you like them?"  Oh, Lord.  You do have a sense of humor.  I very graciously accepted the most pristine, amazing box of hand-me-downs I have ever seen.  I didn't know baby clothes could be so clean unless they were new.  The Lord wanted to show me how He uses His people to take care of each other.  He wants to be my provision and wants me to trust Him.  I don't have to "look out for me first" because He will honor a heart that is turned toward Him and His people with love as great as the love I have for myself.  (Oh, so you really meant that whole thing about love your neighbor as yourself?)

I haven't used this space to say anything about the pleasure of my days (ie, spending all day, every day with my incredible children).  I haven't told you about all of the sweet, funny things Josiah has said lately or the way his gentle love for his sister just wrecks me every day.  I didn't tell you about the joy of introducing Evangeline to one branch of the extended family (hence, the real reason for our trip to the beach). However, I see that this post has gotten long incredibly quick and now you maybe didn't even read it because you still think that I don't want you to read my blog anymore.  So...I'll save all those things until next time when you hopefully try *just one more time* to click on my blog.