Josiah has pulled the greatest stunt yet. Last night he and Jonathan were supposed to go visit some friends in a northern suburb after I left for work. I received a call at work around 8:30pm from Jonathan, who had been looking for his wallet for an hour and a half. He was hoping I knew where it was, as I typically have a pretty good memory about such things. All I could offer was, "Last time I saw it, Josiah was walking around pretending like it was a telephone in his ear." We hung up and he continued the search...until 3am. When I got home this morning, Jonathan was exhausted from pulling our house apart to locate his missing wallet. He searched everywhere Josiah could have accessed...including the Christmas present bags under the tree and the trash that Jonathan took out earlier in the night. He managed to find my hairbrush and daily planner, both of which had been missing for about a week. The hairbrush was under the rug in our entrance way. I had wondered why I couldn't find it. Anyway, around 3am, after 6 diligent hours of search, Jonathan found the wallet tucked discreetly under several lids and bowls in the Tupperware drawer. It was the third time he had looked in the drawer, but it was hidden so well it took moving everything out (like Josiah so often does). What a stunt.
As we continue to place things out of his reach, Josiah manages to climb and reach higher and deeper to access off-limits items. This afternoon he managed to stand on the lip of the drawer to our desk and reach up to the important papers and keyboard in the office. He thinks it should be standard behavior for him to pull up on the oven door to see what is going on on the stove or counter. This is truly becoming overwhelming. My night stand drawer is now like Fort Knox, tied down with rope all the way around it. He is quite the curious fellow, and he is proving himself as quite intelligent as he discovers the wonders of the house.
His favorite thing to do right now is walk around the house, jabbering to his Elmo cell phone that he props ever so non-chalantly on his shoulder. He likes to gurgle his spit when he is laying on his back, and he gets a kick out of playing hide-and-go-seek. When I bend my head down to look at something, he often comes up and pulls my hair back and puts his forehead to mine, as if he is pulling back a tent and climbing inside with me. He is quite good at giving open mouthed kisses, and after some hesitation, he started to share them with me as well as Daddy. Jonathan had been getting all of the kisses for a week or so. His efforts at discernable speech are more pronounced, but I think only Jonathan and I can decipher the subtle differences in his words. "dIg dIg" (dog) often sounds like "duc" (duck), and "ki ki" (kitty cat) as well as "da doo" (thank you). One word is very clear: na-na. This is the self proclaimed (by Josiah) definition for breastfeeding. He doesn't get it every time he asks, but when he gets really desperately tired or worked up, it is guaranteed he will be requesting na-na. I typically distract him with other activities, but it is pretty funny how distinct he has made this word.
I have been feeling a lot of pressure lately regarding weaning, as most people commend the dedication of nursing for a full year and then expect it to end abruptly as the baby crosses the landmark of a first birthday. I was feeling pressure from so many avenues, so I started to contemplate beginning the weaning process earlier than I had planned (18 months). Everything in my spirit felt so deflated, as I know that Josiah and I are both still enjoying our nursing relationship. It felt as if I was going to be making a huge sacrifice. I pulled out the "What to Expect the Toddler Years" book and read through their weaning section. I now must say that I do not endorse this series of books, as I was so discouraged by what I read. It made me feel so guilty for continuing breastfeeding beyond a year--and both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization approve of breastfeeding beyond a year! The AAP suggests at least one year and the continuation of nursing as long as both parties mutually desire. The WHO suggest at LEAST two years of breastfeeding! Yet, somehow I felt so shamed by this book that is supposed to be the standard recommendations. Feeling so poorly (and questioning myself as a mother), I pulled out the Dr. Sears Baby Book, which offered me solace. Dr. Sears promotes attachment parenting and endorses breastfeeding for as long as a baby (or toddler) needs---within reason. I don't have intentions of breastfeeding forever--in fact, I have friends that had breastfed for amounts of time I personally deem freakish--but I know that Josiah and I aren't quite ready to call it quits. I found comfort in just reading of other mothers that have felt so obligated to remain "mum" about their continued breastfeeding after 1 year, as this resonates strongly with the way I have felt. The truth is, we began the weaning process a while ago, as we have substituted nursing sessions for table food or other activities. As time passes, my intention is to gradually drop sessions until they just cease to exist one day. Of course I will take into consideration the intention I must put behind it, and understand I will perhaps have to gently close the door on the nursing chapter for Josiah rather than the opposite. Regardless, I have a new found confidence in my ability to make these important decisions for my child (outside of the limitations of American culture), and I no longer feel guilty about not having a concrete answer as to when this chapter of our lives will close.
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