sitting and sipping like it's nothing new.

Lately I have narrated the blog in my head several times. I've even erased sentences and replaced them with better ones, but at this point I can't remember any of it. This is my attempt to gather some of my thoughts of the last week and share them with you.

I started working night shifts last week. People keep asking me how I feel about it, and I honestly cannot comprise a true assessment at this point. I still haven't realized that it isn't a temporary lifestyle. I enjoy the people I work with on night shifts; they are truly friends. We have a great time laughing together all night. I like the way the floor is quieter, and people aren't motivated to come in for achy backs and rashes on their arms. What I don't know is how I like sleeping during the day. Right now it kind of makes work not seem like work, because it isn't such a hassle to casually make it there in the evening as opposed to getting up at 6am. My best guess so far is...I like it. There is one person in the family that didn't seem to like it...and that was Josiah.

This is the confusing part, because he shouldn't really be aware that I'm gone. He sleeps in his own crib, he goes to be two hours after I leave...but he wouldn't go to sleep for Dad, and he wouldn't stay asleep either. Typically Josiah lays down around 9:30pm peacefully awake and falls asleep without protest on his own. From what I've been told, that didn't go over well...and at 2am the bottle wasn't as accomodating as the boob. They were both ready for me in the morning--Josiah was screaming when I got home and Jonathan was helplessly awaiting my relief. As soon as I walked in the room and Josiah caught sight of me, he was silent. Contentment...until I left the room to take a shower. He screamed until I re-entered. Silence. Confirmed: we have a mama's boy. Until the breasts are out of the picture, I think I have a hold on him. It was such a battle the first night that they BOTH stayed in bed with me until 10am that morning. Night three was better than the first two, but he didn't go to sleep until after midnight. He did sleep until I got home at 7:45, though. Hopefully his coping skills will improve. We didn't have issues like this when I went back to work. I'm a little puzzled by it all, but they are going to have to work it out in the coming weeks.

After that first night, Jonathan announced that we must start introducing cereal ASAP, as this may cure the middle of the night feeding. I laughed at his matter-of-fact, proactive opinion. I have pondered the idea, but it means surrendering my original goal of exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months. I don't really think there is anything wrong with feeding a baby before 6 months, but before Josiah was born I had this self-righteous idea that I was just going to breastfeed for six months. Now I really just don't want to complicate things. Once I move forward on this one, it is a slippery slope from here on out. It takes MUCH more planning (not to mention time) to organize feeding the kid with more than the ever-ready breast. I flat out dread it. Right now I can be anywhere at anytime and still keep him happy. I don't have to be home, I don't have to have a high chair or dishes or a way to warm it up. I suppose with good parenting comes sacrifice (dang). So I think we are going to introduce some rice cereal in the coming days. I didn't get my act together this week, and I work Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, so I think we will postpone until early next week. I do fear what I will do if the addition of cereal doesn't eliminate the midnight feeding. Gasp. Up until now I have pacified myself with the confidence that solid foods will finally satisfy the chub that is Josiah. I suppose the moment of truth is upon us.

Somewhat along the lines of food...tonight I noticed Josiah taking interest in my bottle of water. I decided to let him try to take a sip, and he was very eager to comply. The only problem was when I took the bottle away...and he screamed like a mad man. I had called my mom to tell her to bring some sippy cups tomorrow when she comes to visit, and when she answered she asked what on earth was wrong with him. He wanted to drink more water! I think the ice water felt nice on his gums. Up until now, I laughed at the thought of introducing a sippy cup at 6 months (apparently it is recommended), but since he showed such interest I will do just that...and at 5 months, nonetheless. We'll see if he can really master it or not. He sure is talking a lot of trash about it (I can't IMAGINE where he got that from).

In the last few days Josiah's "tripod" stance (I think that is what the baby books call it, but it essentially looks like a gorilla sitting pose) has gotten sturdier. Rather than bending in half, he actually sits most of the way up and just uses his hands for balance. He does a good job maintaining his balance until he trys to reach for his toys. That is still a little too ambitious.

Josiah has started to get pretty mad that his body won't move to help him to his toys that linger out of reach. He kicks his feet and pulls with his arms, but he isn't able to propel himself forward in a timely manner. Usually he just ends up crying in frustration and flailing around, reaching for a toy. This sounds cruel, but it is actually pretty exciting because up until now he didn't even realize that there was potential to obtain the items out of reach. Now he realizes he COULD reach the items if his body would just cooperate. This tension is soon going to produce a mobile man (and an insane mom). This will certainly be the end of me.

We have a full day tomorrow so I must go get some sleep. I hope I have sufficiently gathered my thoughts, and I am vowing to myself that I will make a better attempt to keep up (I DID clean the floors today, so I must be off to a good start).