a timely arrival

She has arrived! The baby girl made her debut yesterday, just as I speculated she would. If she does come home with us, it will be such a special story to tell her how her birthday was the day she was birthed as a reality in our hearts and on paper one year prior to her birth into the world. We had planned to attend the birth, but the baby surprised everyone with her unusually quick arrival, so we weren't the only ones that thought they would make it and didn't. Her doctor thought he would be there, too. haha. Her birth story is awesome, and though I would love to share it, it's not my story to tell to the world. It is such a privilege to have heard the full story from her mom so that we can share it with her as she grows up. Truly, it's a privilege.

We got word of her arrival around 10:30 in the morning when we were expecting to get the call to go to the hospital for the birth. I was a little shocked to say the least, as I had been mentally preparing myself for the birth and playing out "what-if" scenarios in my head and how I would respond. So much for that. We were told she would still like us to visit and to plan to be at the hospital at 1:30. The two hours I had to mill around the house before departing were agonizing. We stopped by the store and picked up a few things to take to her, and then we made a timely arrival to the hospital lobby around 1:20. The plan was for the pregnancy counselor to pick us up there, and she had our number. We did not have hers.

We sat, nervous about what lay ahead. Were we about to meet our daughter? No one can really say for sure. We sat, and then we sat some more. I intently watched every elevator that opened, becoming more and more nervous as time went on. I began to think, "What kind of discussion are they having up there that it is taking so long?" I was picturing the pregnancy counselor coming down after a 30 minute delay to tell us she had changed her mind and we weren't able to visit after all. It was a scenario of horror, honestly. Anyway, I sat as patiently as I could until 40 minutes had passed. I called the office to reach our specialist. The first few times I tried to reach her she had stepped out of her office. When I got her on the phone I explained that we were still waiting an hour later. She called the counselor to ask what was happening. It seems there was some miscommunication and they told us her room number and to head on up. Relieved that our hopes and dreams weren't being obliterated in that moment, we headed toward the room. We ended up on a wild goose chase around the hospital, being directed in several ways before determining the room number they told us didn't exist. I was nearly in tears. This was too much.

We finally reached our specialist on the phone again, and she reached the counselor. Somehow it came out that they were at a different hospital than we had originally been told. It was a branch of the hospital in a different location. I just hung my head in defeat. They asked her if we could still visit, and she said yes. I was grateful for that. I don't think in my emotional state I could have waited another full day to resolve all of the turmoil that had started to churn within me.

We got back in the car, both nearly silent and wondering what in the world we were doing. We were stressed and incredibly emotionally vulnerable. We drove 30 minutes north to the next hospital. We arrived and found her room with ease. And THEN, and only then, did everything seem very natural. We had a great visit with the mom and her friend. It felt like friends sitting around chatting and laughing together, and we couldn't have been more grateful for the natural progression in our relationship. It was much different than the first time we met, because it was more about sharing life than a "get to know you" session. She shared the whole birth story with us, and her friend showed us all the pictures she had taken. She even offered to email them to us, which was so kind.

We met the sweet baby girl and marveled over her full head of hair. I thought about all of the headbands I have made for my daughter and how they would work well with such nice long hair. We took turns holding her as we visited with her mom. She slept the whole time we were there. Babies look so different when they are awake and asleep, so we looked to the pictures to get a better idea what this pretty little thing really looked like. It's amazing how eyes are the window into somebody, even somebody so small. We stayed between an hour to an hour and a half before departing so they could get some much needed rest. We left feeling very at peace with the situation and very grateful we had the privilege to visit. Now we will just wait and see what happens and if the sweet baby we held in our arms is actually our daughter.

There is something nice and refreshing about not clinging to my phone every minute of every day waiting on news. I have a timeline now. Within 10 days I will know the outcome. No more guessing. No more speculation. I can handle a max of 10 days. At least, I think I can:) I kept thinking the 10 day wait would be the most excruciating. Granted, this will only be Day 1 assuming she actually signs the necessary paperwork today. Right now I am content, though. I think, "what is 10 more days after thinking for a month the baby would arrive any day?" All emotions subject to change on a minute-to-minute basis though. I think I am just relieved to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The emotional limbo is almost over. I will know for sure where I stand in this baby girl's life in 10 days or less. That is relieving.

Thank you for all of your prayers and encouraging words. This adoption thing is not for the faint of heart, so I appreciate all of the prayers that have sustained us on the journey to bringing our daughter home. If we are able to call this sweet baby our daughter, she will come home on Monday, March 7th. I will keep you posted and hope to not have any news before then.